The hectic days of a semi-homeschooling mother

Today are our homeschool evaluations. The State of Ohio, in its infinite wisdom, has decreed that homeschoolers are subject to evaluations by certified teachers (or you can have your children tested and submit their test scores to the superintendent). Let's not get into my screed about how the State of Ohio really has no compelling interest in my children nor do they do anything to help educate my children. Any jerk with a teaching degree is deemed more knowledgable about the education of my children than am I, despite the fact that the education degree basically tells you not how to educate children most effectively but how to control large groups of them and how to navigate within the political world of teaching.

Oops, I guess my screed is showing.

Anyway, so I've gone and gathered all of our paperwork together and compressed it into 4" binders. Yes, it takes 4 inches worth of binder to keep our papers together. Next year it may be 5". I'm ready for the evaluation. Sort of. I hate being evaluated and have ever since childhood. I guess no one really likes it.

During the summers, we've always homeschooled. This summer, instead of our usual, we're lazily reading through the Little House books, making food from Little House books, and generally taking our ease. Why? Because I'm sick to death of grading papers, recording grades, making lesson plans, and filing papers. Forget it, I'm not going to do it this summer. I'm burned out. I'm teetering on the brink of hating homeschooling so I'm backing off and taking a break.

I know that part of the problem is that I want more time to play. The older I've gotten, the more selfish I've become about having time for myself. Of course, this is going to be majorly blown out of the water with the arrival of twins at the end of the month, but I'm trying to ease into a loss of personal freedom. I need to work on being less selfish in that regard. My family deserves better.

Somehow this month, I need to do homeschool prep for the fall, paint the downstairs and get my house ready for company at the end of the month (and for the twins, also due to arrive at the end of the month), make a couple of fun baby quilts, and get some food made and frozen ahead for the crazy days after the arrival of the twins. I'm stuck. I'm overwhelmed and since I get such naches from the Internet, I play here instead. Yes, pass the chain, I'm self-flagellating.

I wish I could be disciplined like my friend Gina. I'm in awe of her powers. I used to be disciplined but no longer. I really see it as a manifestation of Satan. I must fight it. I must do better. I actually am doing better but I'm one of those people who has to have it right right now. And that don't fly in the real world.